So. I belive that everyone is well aware of the mythological beast that steals half of all matching socks in any given load of laundry. However, like Josh on Destination Truth, I have sought out this mischievous beast in the pursuit of gaining a greater understanding of the creature or even to disprove his existence. Which I did. Disproving, that is.
You see, dear reader, it all started like this: toodling on the world wide web (the triple dub) in calm awaitance of laundry switching. That is, waiting for it to finish washing so I could load it into the dryer. Tip tapping away at my computer, I hear the tum tumbling of the washing machine spinning and cleansing my clothes. And then, suddenly, SILENCE!! I knew it was time.
I crept silently from my chair (so as not to awaken my valiant roommates). Even without the assistance of night vision goggles, I could make my way to the laundry room (which happens to be right next door to my own bedroom). The laundry was ready to switch. Pending a quick emptying of the dryer. And quick indeed I did make it, thinking that it was only towels. It wasn't.
There were socks. As I was swiftly stuffing the laundry basket with towels a solitary sock soared past like the Millenium Falcon after hiding out on that asteroid. NOoooooOOOOooo!!! I cry in slow motion and a whisper. The podiatrical accutriment passed my grasp and vanished into the underworld of behind the dryer. Never to be seen again.
It made me ponder what happens to socks after they have left our noble care? Down in the laundry underworld. Which happens to be run by a strange tribe of dust bunnies... oddly enough, the size and shape of real rabbits. King Cottontail does not tolerate outsiders. The intruding sock must now be tortured by means of dust bunny dogpile: a slow and painful death... eventually leading to the sock becoming but a dust bunny itself. The only hope for the sock is to gain help from Peter Rabbit the king's own brother.... though he seems to prefer stealing vegetables lately...
I am not too upset. It's not like it was my sock.
chapter two: PETER PARQUET: SPIDER PLANT EXTRAORDINAIRE
Speaking of Peters... I found it quite intriguing... as I was perusing "Google Image" for information that may save my poor leaf curling spider plant's life... (maybe seeing healthy plants would make it feel better. It could be all psychological. You know?) Up from the depths, thirty stories high, breathes fire, its head it the sky! Godzilla! Godzilla! Godzilla! ...and Godzoo-ooo-oookie.
I'm most certainly denying that he's a handsome fellow. However... my poor Peter Parquet.... was so stunned by the image... well. I believe I feel a song, erm, I mean parody coming on:
(to the tune of the spider man theme song)
Spider Plant, Spider Plant
Friendly neighborhood Spider Plant
Doesn't grow; there it lies
Guess I'll have to improvise
Look out. Here I come, Spider Plant!
Come along, start to bud,
I've just started a little flood.
Tried to feed; grow for me.
Don't you curl those leaves for me.
Hey there! Here I come, Spider Plant!
1 comment:
Once again, I am amazed at your ability to spin a yarn. Either you've taken after your beloved father (which would be me), or you need to lay off the iced coffees after midnight.
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