No... you don't have food poisoning, that's just High Fructose Corn Syrup doing its thing. You'll get used to it in a few months: we put it in everything.
~Toothpaste for Dinner
I often wonder if they put weird things in the food at Shari's. Weird things that cause weird people to feel trapped inside restaurant restrooms. Weird things that cause weird conversations with old friends. Also new friends.
Among other things I've done today (including forgetting to start the dryer at work and faceplanting at my desk WHILE sitting in a chair...), I nearly destroyed the entire school day today for tomorrow. Phew. I feel as if it is safe to speak of... considering that Kathleen already world wide published it. And Trevor made contacts in Roseburg. Before you know it, this bad boy tidbit will span the good ol' U.S. of A.... it's best, kind readers, that you hear it from me:
I took home the only key to the main entrance gate.
There I said it. It's true. But I brought it back... spurring on yet another adventure of Big C and Special K...
C: Hey K, whaddyou wanna do today
K: IDK... go to Shari's and return the key you stole from work!!! Nob.
C: Okay... hey let's call up some homies and wreak havoc.
K: Uhhh... I don't think that's such a good idea...
C: What are you talking about??? It'll be fine. Dialing now.... boop beep boop bee boop boop boopp...
Ellen (the Shari's waitress): Ooooh... I wanna hear about the brothers. Nessicito... un piquito espanol...
C: Je ne parle pas d'Espanol
K: Oh French! Yeah!
So we left a fancy note for our fancy waitress who I believe appreciated the fact that we didn't yell "Hola, Como Estas?" across the restaurant as Joe so suggested... we also left a fancy face for our waitress Ellen.
Zorro, the great masked warrior, has the letter Z that he inscribes upon all conquered ... eh... conquests.... The Great Big C and Special K.... have the Ranch-Honey Mustard- Ketchup Smiley face... complete with complimentary note. The kind waitpeople always say thank you... but deep down I wonder... are they just being nice... or do they have a secret underground order of the waitpeople... just waiting to get us back for all the extra dish washing and wasted condiments.
Maybe they'll just spike our food with high fructose corn syrup...
.... Not that we need any more...
Who was the 6'3" tall, 36th president of the United States of America? Lyndon B. Johnson.
I learned that from the Mob.
Which of the following celebrities have been in the longest relationships? A. Britney and K-Fed; B. Pam and Kid Rock; or C. some other guys: Answer? Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.
I learned that from the Mob
Who, in the famous stageplay, did Oedipus fall in love with? Guess what folks, I'll never know. Thanks a bunch for giving us, the faithful audience the coming question.... but not answering it. Thanks, Mob. I think it was his mom... hence "Oedipus complex," but I lost my copy. So I'll never know.
Also to add on my list of things I'll never know: whether my Red Wag Platy (named Baxter) is a boy or a girl. Something I'll never know. Well, unless Buble, the Sunburst Wag gets fresh and.... well. I'll still probably never know. Just for good measure I secured a chaperone for them: a spunky Otocinclus named Bissel. He'll help clean up their act... and their tank at the same time!
I was going to name him Hoover (after the vacuum cleaner and president), but "Baxter, Buble, and Hoover" just didn't sound right. "Baxter, Buble, and Bissel?" Now that has a ring to it. Call it alliteration homes! Either that... or PURE GENIUS!
In other news: let's rewind to about half an hour before Bissel's purchase (except at the time his name was Hoover). Sooooo, Tuesday after work, I proceeded to the mall to visit the Clearwire kiosk (bonus cool word points). In my excitement to procure high speed internet, I opened the door POP! right into my knee cap. Instantly all innocent passersby reeled about to look at the girl who just pulled a Christy. These passersby included a random old guy who asked if I required any assistance... to which I replied that no I did not.
However, even amidst this strike of ill luck... I was still in a super good mood, anticipating the acquirement of the illusive Internet. After a quite riviting convo with Doug... giver of super internet powers... I emerged victorious. And ran into the sign. Oh yes.... I ended Tuesday bruised and in pain... but I ended with a sense of accomplishment. I also ended without full bending power of my right knee...
Note to self: No more sugar for me.
